When Will asked if I was interested in being a guest editor for a day, I said, yes, but only on one condition: I was allowed to do a post about RAD ... the Greatest. Movie. Ever. Unfortunately, for some of you at least, Will told me to go crazy and write whatever the hell I wanted too. Woops!

Apropos of nothing, "apropos of nothing" has always been my favorite Deadspin line. Thus, apropos of nothing, I present to you this video of a man ramming an elastic cord attached to a kettlebell into his groin. You're welcome!

• I didn't know Memphis was in Louisiana and that Pau Gasol got married last night. [YouTube]
• Kelly Dwyer got a blog! Run, you stupid fucking Internet! Run! [SI.com]
• Why you should consider taking James Earl Jones, Chris Sabo and Ted Kaczynski in your 2007 Michigan football Deathpool. [3 Tooth Minimum]
• Hold on,…

I'm so excited to tell you this I might as well just copy and paste the fucker:

I was planning on posting pics of Josh Scobee's shaved scrotum and Dwyane Wade's right-ass cheek, but The Mighty MJD sort of beat me to it. Instead, I offer this odd little video of Track and Field asses set to the musical beats of Heavy D & the Boyz's Nuttin But Love.

I'm Canadian, but I despise ice hockey. While I mostly hold my thrifty parents responsible for this sad, but true fact — they refused to register me in "such an expensive sport" — I guess some of the blame has to fall on my weak-ass ankles, too. Yeah, I can't skate worth a shit. I can't turn in skates; I can't stop in …

My name is Justin Everest Skeets III — street name: J.E. Skeets — and rumor has it I'll be your threed thurd third substitute teacher this post-turkey week. (I'm sorry.)